I am 27 years old. I have had experinced a few "age" crisis, especially when I turned 25. It hit me back then, that I had now suprassed the line of what is often considered young adult. I always knew that just because I was over 18, it didn't mean I was "adult". But at 25 it suddenly felt like now things should get more serious. Despite that crisis, I have not made much progeress on my mental state. I still feel childish maybe. Things that are normal responsibilities feel difficult. It feels as if I should have spent the these 9 years learning to be an adult. Doing it now feel embarassing, I should already know all of these. I have less than two and a half years until I turn 30. It is a bit frightning, maybe part of me didn't belive I would ever make it to this age.

I have spent many nights feeling dreadful over my life. It feels that I have made mainly bad decisionns and that my life is pathetic. I hate that feeling and maybe as defense mechanism, I get full of ambition to change things. I start making plans in my head of what I should do and change. It never lasts though, I have hard time maintaining routines and forcing myself to do thigns has maybe a 40% chance of success. Two of the biggest obstacles are concentraton and just simply forgetting things when they are not actively on my mind.

I am not sure what am I aiming for exactly. There are thigns I wish to achieve, but they are more secondary. My true ambitions is something more intangible. I just hope that doing this website could birng me closer to that.